a signal from home...

i haven't been online at home in a really long time... i hadn't been able to get a signal, and so i gave up on trying... i've had my laptop on the other side of the room (for no particular reason) and tonight i moved it and got a signal... so yea... i love getting free wireless from a neighbor...

it's been a pretty low-key weekend so far... and i enjoy low-key weekends... work should pick up this week and not be so slow, which will be great...

my friend jeff came over earlier... we hung out for a few hours... and then he left... and i couldn't help but think that it may be one of the last times i talk to him... we may stay surface-y friends, but i think we're not good friends anymore... it's sad, but there's not really anything i can do about it... we've pretty much parted ways... it'll be okay... that's how life goes... another busboy out...

but it's late and i have a few things to do before i go to bed... so i should publish this and get to bed...

new status...

i've reached a new status in my life... my new status, according to mary, is "you would have been a bridesmaid if I wasn't having only family cause you're so dang cool." i love that status... everyone should be aware of it... because it's fun...

at least it's mostly general american

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

10% Dixie

10% Yankee

5% Midwestern

5% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

i'm not as young as i used to be...

last night was packed... i left work early, went home in a frenzy to straighten my apartment for my girls from church to come over and decorate boxes for them to put their memory verses in... i frantically picked everything up, shoving a lot of clothes into the closet... and waited... and waited... luckily, i had gilmore girls to keep me company... they were supposed to be there at 5:00... and i had accidentally double-booked myself, making the plans with the girls, forgetting about beckie's birthday... i think i need a day planner and a franklin covey seminar...

so about 5:30, beckie calls me back... i had called to see if friend jeff could come with me for dessert after the girls leave... and then i tell her that none of the girls have shown up... i thought, if they don't get here by 6:00 or a little after, i may just go to beckie's for dinner...

5:45 - the girls show up... and i pull out all the stuff i got, which i think was a disappointing show, but it cost a lot of money (for me)... by the time i bought the boxes and fun beads and stickers to go on them, i spent $40... and then i ended up having to buy dinner... so they'd just have to get over the lack of tons of fun craft supplies...

we watched superstar and decorated boxes and talked... and i mentioned that i had to go to beckie's after they left, so maybe their parents should pick them up around 8:00 or so... which was fine with them... about 7:30, one of them asks me if i can take her home, because her mom can't get there... of course... so i end up taking them all home... and we didn't leave until 8:45 and then i headed over to beckie's... i thought i'd get there at 8:00 or 8:30... instead it's 9:30... luckily there was still cheesecake left...

then we hung out and talked and talked and talked... me, rea, beckie, jessica and dave... and the next thing i know it's 1 a.m.... eww... so i head home and realize that i have beauty and the geek and lost recorded and i really wanted to watch them, because i'm not going to have time tonight... and i think i have to give up my tape to the beckie, jess and angela tonight for beauty and the geek, because they didn't watch it... so i stay up and watch them after i get home... 3 a.m. and i'm heading to bed, alarm set for 7 a.m....

i woke up at the time when i'm supposed to leave to get to work on time... so i called my boss and left a message telling him i had some stuff to get done this morning... (get extra sleep) and that i'd be in at 9:30... (which is not a big deal at all) i rolled into work about 9:50... but i don't have anything to do, so it really doesn't matter...

i'm working through my lunch break because i feel bad about being late... and now it's almost 1:00 and i still have 3.5 hours left in the day... and i'm so tired... i really wish i was at home right now, in my bed... instead, i'm going to get something out of the vending machine for lunch, have a diet coke and start working on dreamweaver tutorials... at least it's something to do...

::i'm happy for you::

my friend jeff just came to see me... it's a happy thing... jeff moved to the bay area almost a year ago...

before he moved, we hung out a lot... we were really good friends... and he moved and for a long time, we stayed good friends... we talked on the phone no less than once a week and he knew everything... he heard my guy-stories, good and bad... we talked about work and life and movies and tv...

i saw him a few times this year - when he came home or when i went down for a class... and it was fun... we laughed and talked... it was like old times...

then, sometime this spring, right around april, something happened... a girl happened... and all of a sudden, jeff and i didn't talk every week or even every other week... all of the friendship and attention he had shown to me was shifted to her...

i don't like jeff that way - we've had several dtr's - and each time we've gone into it thinking we're just friends and walked away as just friends... so i'm not jealous because i want to date jeff or i'm sad that he found someone else...

i just miss my friend... i miss having a guy friend that's there... that is cool and normal and perfect as my good-guy-friend-only... i only remember us getting into a fight one time and it was kind of bad, but then once we didn't talk for a day or two, things were back to normal...

and right now, i wish things would go back to normal for our friendship...

but he likes her, he really likes her... and i couldn't be more happy for him... in the hour that he was here, 45 minutes were spent talking about how great she is and all the cool dates they've gone on... and it's cool that he's experiencing all of that... because seriously, a year ago, he was talking about joining a monastery... so i'm so excited for him... i've never seen him so full of life and joy...

but i found myself saying i was happy for him, hoping my face was convincing... i want to feel happy for him... i want that to come naturally... because i am happy that he has all that...

i miss my friend, but maybe i only miss him because it was comfortable... i feel like the selfish 8-year-old who wants what she can't have... who wants everything her own way, regardless of what it does to other people... and i don't like the way that feels...

i'm so happy for jeff... i guess, in a way, i'm jealous... not in the normal jealous way... i don't want to be dating jeff... but i want what he has... the fun dates that last too many hours to count... for someone to talk about me the way he talks about her... and it's not jeff...

i'm just wondering if he's out there...

slow day at work...

i didn't have anything to do at work... so i put mailing labels on about 800 books - we're mailing out our convention annual... so the majority of the annuals i put labels on will be going to various places throughout the northwest... but about 200 of them are going all over the country... and that was the exciting part...

it made my job feel like the big leagues... i was putting labels on annuals that will go to baptist schoools across the country, the convention newspapers, the executive directors of the conventions and the presidents of the seminaries... yes, that's right, i labeled an annual for Al Mohler, Jerry Rankin, Paige Patterson, etc... the truth is that most of the people who receive the northwest baptist convention annual will probably thumb through it and stick it on a shelf and never look at it again...

the good part is - even though labeling annuals does not fall under the umbrella of my job, it filled up my day... and now i have less than an hour to kill, rather that 7 or 8...

what is an appropriate gift for a blog's birthday?

today is my blog's birthday... or would it be its anniversary?

my blog has:
saved me some money on potential therapy... (but not car insurance)
allowed me to meet new people, reconnect with old friends...
become part of my every day life... (it's sad when the first thing that pops into my head after something happens is - "i need to blog about that...")
confused me... is blog a noun or a verb? both?
amused few and probably offended some...

i'm wondering how many times i've used ellipses (...) in posts in the last year... probably too many times to count... much like the la-la-la's in kylie minogue's song, "i just can't get you out of my head..."

blogger hasn't updated my profile where it says the number of posts and words written... back in october, i had written 75 posts - well, now it's 209 (including this one) - and at last count, i had written about 25,000 words... if i had written an average of 333 words per post then and it's continued (which may or may not be accurate), then i've written somewhere in the neighborhood of 70,000 words... and if a picture is worth 1000 words... i've put 34 pictures on my blog... so that's another 34,000 - except for they count as a post, which means i'd have to subtract the 333 words per post... and the math has become too advanced for me at this point... (not really, but it wouldn't be exact - and who cares anyway?)

happy birthday (or anniversary) to my blog...